How to create a positive and uplifting Facebook feed without unfriending everybody

Is your Facebook news feed depressing? Maybe its time to spruce it up.

I hate to brag (*wink-wink)…. But I probably have the most positive, and uplifting, Facebook-news-feed on the planet. However, this wasn’t always the case.

Last year I became quite disillusioned with my news feed. I found myself caught in a crossfire of Hillary and Trump guerrillas claiming to be experts of national and international affairs. I witnessed one logical fallacy (please click on the link) after another launched off just like missiles in time of war. The lack of respect and intelligence on this platform absolutely floored me. For a moment, I developed acute disdain for my ethics professor who taught me strict guidelines for having an intelligent argument.

In addition, I had friended a lovely elderly lady that was a charm to talk to. She seemed so sweet, godly and innocent. I couldn’t help but add her to my list of Facebook friends. Little did I know that she was fixated on making daily posts of nude cowboys wearing nothing but cowboy hats over their nether regions (EEEEWWWW!) ……Then there was that family member that has been angry at the world since birth. Honestly, I can tolerate having a “woe is me” conversation every few years at a family get-together. But, seeing that junk everyday was sinking me into a depression right along with that person….. It was inevitable something had to change!

Thankfully, I’ve since learned how to tailor my news feed. My news feed, now, provides me with inspirational and uplifting content 24/7.….. and if anything negative dares  to resurface, I know how to nip it in the bud. With that in mind, I’d like to leave you with some tips to help you do the same.

  1. Follow Pages with content that inspires you

What puts you in a good mood? What feeds your soul? Make a list of what you would like to see, and then follow pages that carry that type of content. Personally, I’m a visual person. I enjoy and get energy when I see positive quotes that are set on an artistic backgrounds. I currently follow several authors, faith leaders, leadership gurus, mindfulness practitioners, and musicians.

2. Adjust your settings

To follow a page you must first “Like” the page.

(I’m going to be using Bob Goff as an example. He’s one of my favorite people to follow. If you haven’t done so already, make sure to check out his book “Love Does”. It is one of my favorite books ever!)

  • Do you see that little “Like” icon? Click on it

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  • Once you click on it you will see both “Like” and “Follow” highlighted in blue.

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  • Click on “Following

You will notice that your notifications are automatically set to “default”.

The “default” setting will not include every post from this page in your news feed.

If you would like this page’s posts to be the first thing that you see in your news feed click on “See first”.

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If the page ends up being something you’d rather not see, click on “unfollow” (I’ve been known to regret making the choice to follow some pages in the past. The “unfollow” button came in handy when I realized my error.)

Click on “Edit Notification Settings” to adjust how you are notified…. For example: I absolutely enjoy what Bob Goff has to say. I purposely selected “All posts” to make sure that I don’t miss out on anything that he publishes on his timeline. If you don’t select “All posts,” Facebook will randomly select which posts you see and which ones you don’t. Personally, I don’t want to see every “Live” video posted, so I only have the “Suggested” option listed.

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  1. Change settings when you dislike the content of a page or Facebook friend.

The upper-right-hand corner of a post will give you a drop down menu.

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Click it…. It will give you options to save a post, hide a post (and those like it), hide every post, report a post, turn off notifications, or copy the link. 

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You get to choose what you want to see! Yay!

  1. Boost the posts of people that you want to see and “unfollow” anything that you don’t want to see

Thankfully, Facebook allows us to see the posts of people, that matter most to us, first. On the other hand, we also live in a world that is full of  negative people. At times, these people are family members, co-workers, and life-long friends. Although these may be people that we truly care about, we may not want to consistently dwell on their personal negativity. The good news is that you can “Unfollow” their posts without “Unfriending” them.

When you click on their profile you will see the following:

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  • Click on “Following“.

You will then be given the option to either “Unfollow” someone, or see their posts first.

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The tips that I shared with you changed my news feed drastically. Feel free to use them to shape your news feed into something that you truly enjoy.

 

Godspeed,

 

John Garay

 

Photo credit: Foter.com

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4 things I learned from my facebook purge

I don’t know how you feel about this matter, but I get nauseated every time I see someone announce their upcoming “friends list purge”. Perhaps I’m assuming much, but I picture that person sitting at home, waving their wand of disdain, as they select who will and who won’t make their final cut. Then, one by one, they “unfriend” those they deem as deplorable, while simultaneously sending squeals of delight into the atmosphere…. I recognize that my assumption is quite over the top, but that’s what runs through my head every time I see one of those god-forsaken-announcements…. You know what annoys me even more? The remnant of people who comment under the purge-post thanking the purger for allowing them to make the cut…. Sometimes I feel like grabbing each of those pour souls by the shoulders, cyber-slapping them upside the head, and telling them “Don’t encourage this kind of behavior! It’s pathetic and sickening!!!”

Well, as much as I despise facebook purges… I must admit that about 3 years ago, after much inner turmoil and deliberation, I chose to initiate my own facebook purge. Before I go any further, I must mention that this is the first time that I speak publicly about it (note* there was nothing glorious about it) Nevertheless, here’s what led to it…..

To preface my reason, I must shamelessly tell you that I am a social media junkie. I regularly lose track of time while scrolling down my FB newsfeed and have been called a “social-media-addict” by many. Nevertheless, I have found social media to be a creative outlet where I can express myself freely. I use it as a platform to inspire others, bring encouragement, spread laughter, and give hope to the hurting. However, 3 years ago, I found myself in an uncomfortable place in life. I had just completed graduate school, I was living in a new city, and I had a great desire to establish meaningful friendships in my community. I was constantly searching for possibilities at work, at church, and at school. I met many wonderful people but nothing concrete emerged…. I then realized that if I wanted to create the type of tribe that I desired to have, I would need to invest time and effort into reaching my goal. At the time, the largest time and energy robber I had was facebook. I had over 1,200 friends, and for some unknown reason, I felt obligated to read through every post made by each of them, daily. My list consisted of childhood friends from my home town, college friends, family members, people I met at church, work colleagues, you name it……. Most of them were wonderful people, but I wasn’t interacting with many of them on a regular basis. So, in attempt to create space for new opportunities in the realm of friendship, I axed about 550-ish people from my friends list….. I know you are probably wondering what my criteria was for friends that made the cut and who didn’t. However, I didn’t axe people on the bases of lifestyle choices, politics, or life philosophy…. I simply axed anyone who wasn’t a family member and who hadn’t interacted with me for the past thirty days…. It wasn’t easy for me. Honestly, I went through the five stages of grief, but in return I created the space that I needed to reach my goal….. and in the process I learned the following:

  1. I am a people hoarder

Early on I committed to only add friends that I knew and valued. I ended-up realizing that I value a gang-load of people. I have friends that I’ve carried in my heart and mind since I was in the first grade. I’m connected to many of my teachers, mentors, pastors and other life leaders that I had in life. If you had a meaningful part in my life in the past, I’ll do my best to carry you into my future. Sadly, it isn’t always possible…… and that is my struggle.

  1. Not everybody wants to be part of my life

I never heard back from many of the people that didn’t make my initial cut. I wasn’t surprised. I had one person contact me about 2 years later, out of the blue, asking me if I had unfriended them. They were visibly upset. I let that person throw the tantrum while laughing inside. The person couldn’t believe that I unfriended them, and I couldn’t believe that it took them 2 years to find out.

  1. I am constantly unaware of the value that others have for me.

A few months after the purge I had quite a few people reach out to ask me if I was alright. They noticed my absence on FaceBook, they hadn’t heard from me, and they were genuinely concerned. This gave me an opportunity to share my challenges of living in a new city with them. I apologized for any hurt feelings and let them know that I had not intended on hurting anyone. Surprisingly, it led to a rekindling of sorts. I ended up reconnecting with many of them in person, meeting for coffee, lunch, and other events. Other people reached out to me simply with a friend request and a message stating that they missed my inspirational quotes.

  1. Life is best lived in gratitude and constant expectancy

I’ve come to understand that it is impossible to maintain every friendship that I’ve had since childhood. However, I can carry the memory of the times we shared, throughout my life…. And when I remember the good times that we shared, I can be grateful. At the same time, I leave my hand open to the possibility of encountering other people who will light my life with inspiration, accountability, and adventure. I choose to live in gratitude. I choose to live in expectancy.

Godspeed,

John Garay

Photo credit: Foter.com