Thank you for taking the time to view my vlog today. In my video, I mention 4 ways things that you can do to help someone that is being bullied. I have listed them for you below
Empathy is the best thing that you can give someone that is being bullied. Empathy is not creating a silver lining. It is not selecting a magical phrase to minimize the pain that the bullying victim is experiencing. Rather, it is making yourself available to connect with the person and letting them know that they are not alone. Renowned author, Dr. Brené Brown, states, “rarely does a response make something better. What makes something better is connection.” (Click on hyperlink to view her lecture on empathy)
Don’t be scared to teach your loved one how to defend themselves. Ask yourself, “What skill does this person need to defend himself/herself?” Some people can benefit from learning self-defense techniques. Others, can benefit from learning how to verbally defend themselves. Each person is different. Ask them what they need. Don’t have them do anything that they aren’t willing to do.
Speak life into those that are hurting. Give a compliment. Give them words of affirmation. Here is a small list of phrases that you can use.
- I believe in you.
- You are more powerful than you know.
- I love you.
- You are perfect, whole, and complete.
Expose the perpetrator if the bullying does not stop. Advocating for your child or loved one may require you to call child protective services (CPS) or other agency. It is common for children to act out when they face challenges that are beyond their control. CPS has behavioral health specialists that can provide an assessment for the bully and his/her family. The results of the assessment will allow them to make a referral to an appropriate agency. The behaviors of the bully can be addressed through counseling and parent education. It’s also important to consider that the perpetrator may be in an unsafe environment and the child can be moved to safety.
Emotional Dimension Intellectual Dimension Social Dimension Bully Bullying Child protective services counseling CPS Empathize Empathy Empower Encourage encouragement Expose parent education Perpetrator safety
John Eli has spent over 15 years mentoring and coaching individuals in life skills, career transitions, and through organizational change. He has worked in behavioral health, pastoral care, and higher-education. He has found that he is most satisfied in life when he is helping people recognize their potential and assisting them to reach their goals.
He currently lives in Chandler, Arizona with his wife, mini-schnauzer and an antique piano whom he calls, “Betty.”