Early on in life, I learned that the quality of my friendships is greater than the quantity of friendships that I have. Thankfully, I’ve been fortunate enough to have cultivated several meaningful friendships that have withstood the sands of time and that have contributed greatly to my quality of life. On the other hand, I’ve also experienced the occasional person or two that seems to be the kryptonite to my happiness. Here are some lessons that I’ve learned along the way.
True friends are genuinely concerned about your well being.
Self-serving people are more concerned with what you have to bring to the table.
True friends accept you with all your flaws, imperfections, values, and beliefs.
Self-serving people try to make you conform to their own version of perfection.
True friends are dependable.
Self-serving people leave you feeling uncertain. They may or may not be there when you need them.
True friends respect you enough to be honest with you, but also respect you enough to allow you to make your own decisions.
Self-serving people ridicule you and make unreasonable demands from you.
True friends are great listeners.
Self-serving people hoard the conversation.
True friends are thoughtful in word and action.
Self-serving people feel entitled to your service.
True friends forgive.
Self-serving people hold on to grudges.
John Eli has spent over 15 years mentoring and coaching individuals in life skills, career transitions, and through organizational change. He has worked in behavioral health, pastoral care, and higher-education. He has found that he is most satisfied in life when he is helping people recognize their potential and assisting them to reach their goals.
He currently lives in Chandler, Arizona with his wife, mini-schnauzer and an antique piano whom he calls, “Betty.”